I'm overly late to the party, but I just wanted to give my 2 cents that might bring another nuance to your wonderful post. I think you describe well the strength we have to find in ourselves to take that leap of faith, which is mostly against our own fears. What struck me when reading your post is that for me, I had to overcom…
I'm overly late to the party, but I just wanted to give my 2 cents that might bring another nuance to your wonderful post. I think you describe well the strength we have to find in ourselves to take that leap of faith, which is mostly against our own fears. What struck me when reading your post is that for me, I had to overcome not just one Transition or Die response, but two.
The first one is the one you talk about, which is mainly about choice. What do we choose for ourselves, and how we might regret it or not. This first response went quite quickly for me, probably because it has always been very easy for me to understand and read myself, once the curtains drop. I usually work like a racing car in most aspects of my life: I won't move until I stumble upon the signal that something is wrong, at which point I will go full speed. Probably because my brain already balanced the elements I have under my control while I was unconsciously waiting. So, most of the one year in between my egg cracking and me starting HRT wasn't spent thinking about potentially regretting the effect of the HRT. I almost immediately knew I wanted that, no matter the price. Most of my time was instead spent pondering whether something else could make me regret starting it. Because, as you well explained it, we rely on the very same system that oppresses us for our treatments. And it happens that I am very skeptical about our system's health, future and present...
HRT is a life-long treatment. Even more after genitoplasty. Collapse is just one of the many threats that could prevent us from getting the medicine we need to keep our transition going/our body functioning. As such, the fear that really held me back was that something out of my control would take from me the body I finally feel good with. In that sense, for me, there is two Transition or Die responses. The first one about mourning our previous self, and second one about mourning our future self. In both case, we take that leap of faith that we might regret it, but that it is just the right, and probably only, real solution we have.
Anyway, thank you for your wonderful posts, it's always a pleasure to read it.
Thank you for sharing this, Lavande! I grt a little blase about threats to our medical supply because so much of my family is in medicine, so I know that that's a fate that awaits *everyone* eventually, whether it's from blood pressure drugs or insulin, but it's a very real worry to work through. 🫂
Hello Doc,
I'm overly late to the party, but I just wanted to give my 2 cents that might bring another nuance to your wonderful post. I think you describe well the strength we have to find in ourselves to take that leap of faith, which is mostly against our own fears. What struck me when reading your post is that for me, I had to overcome not just one Transition or Die response, but two.
The first one is the one you talk about, which is mainly about choice. What do we choose for ourselves, and how we might regret it or not. This first response went quite quickly for me, probably because it has always been very easy for me to understand and read myself, once the curtains drop. I usually work like a racing car in most aspects of my life: I won't move until I stumble upon the signal that something is wrong, at which point I will go full speed. Probably because my brain already balanced the elements I have under my control while I was unconsciously waiting. So, most of the one year in between my egg cracking and me starting HRT wasn't spent thinking about potentially regretting the effect of the HRT. I almost immediately knew I wanted that, no matter the price. Most of my time was instead spent pondering whether something else could make me regret starting it. Because, as you well explained it, we rely on the very same system that oppresses us for our treatments. And it happens that I am very skeptical about our system's health, future and present...
HRT is a life-long treatment. Even more after genitoplasty. Collapse is just one of the many threats that could prevent us from getting the medicine we need to keep our transition going/our body functioning. As such, the fear that really held me back was that something out of my control would take from me the body I finally feel good with. In that sense, for me, there is two Transition or Die responses. The first one about mourning our previous self, and second one about mourning our future self. In both case, we take that leap of faith that we might regret it, but that it is just the right, and probably only, real solution we have.
Anyway, thank you for your wonderful posts, it's always a pleasure to read it.
Much love, Lavande
Thank you for sharing this, Lavande! I grt a little blase about threats to our medical supply because so much of my family is in medicine, so I know that that's a fate that awaits *everyone* eventually, whether it's from blood pressure drugs or insulin, but it's a very real worry to work through. 🫂