19 Comments

Thank you for sharing the details of what FFS can consist of and your journey. A friends wife recently had FFS and I was curious but I felt it was inappropriate to ask questions. I am so happy you get joy out of how you look now. :)

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Glad to help!

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Im literally crying at your results. I am so happy for you!( and it gives me hope too)

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💜💜💜💜💜

FacialTeam did right by me, that's for sure.

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I'm scheduled (fingers crossed!) for facial surgery near my home in Seattle early next year, which happens to be the 37th anniversary of when my partner and I started dating, way back in high school. We're renewing our vows next year on our 33rd wedding anniversary, six months after facial surgery. I'll look however I look, and I'm fine with that.

For me, there's not really a difference between wanting to be gendered correctly and relieving my dysphoria, because the person who misgenders me the most based on appearance is *me*. I want to see the girl in the mirror, not just sometimes, peeking out from under a heavy brow ridge, but clearly and all the time. I want other people to see her too.

I don't have any control over how a given person perceives my gender, and I don't particularly care. The individual misgenderings don't bother me, whether they're an accidental slip from someone who knows better, a person getting conflicting signals and guessing wrong, or even intentional, hateful slurs. Fortunately, I've experienced very few of the third kind. But the weight of all of them together is a constant background irritation that I don't need. If FFS can reduce that irritation, that's a valuable improvement in my life. Not as important as what I see in the mirror, but still important.

My main concern, like you, is my brow ridge. I rarely bother with eye shadow because you literally can't see it when my eyes are open. I'll be having a forehead reconstruction and orbital shave, which will include a (minor) hairline advancement. I'm also getting a trach shave and lip lift. I'm not having a hair transplant as part of my surgery, but I might have a separate procedure later.

Thank you so much for the detailed explanation. I already know this stuff because I've done plenty of my own research and had consults with three surgeons, with a fourth this month as a backup, but this post is a great resource that gathers a whole lot of information in one place. Thank you also for sharing your personal experience with recover, and especially the photos.

And congratulations to you and B---- on your vow renewal. You both look gorgeous!

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Thank you, and beat of luck!!

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I'm near Seattle, (when I'm not in Grad School), so I have to ask, where are you going for yours?

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I had planned to go to a surgeon at Virginia Mason, but my final consult with Dr. Deschamps-Braly in San Francisco changed my mind. He's had some *really* good results with other patients, including a friend; he's been specializing in this for a long time; his partner (now retired) basically pioneered cranio-facial surgery for trans women, and he did a much better job of explaining exactly what he thought I should do and why than previous surgeons.

In particular, I'm adding rhinoplasty to my surgery. I'm absolutely fine with my nose right now, but Dr. DB pointed out that when my brow bones are altered, my nose won't fit my face anymore, and I immediately saw that he was right.

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My primary care physician has told me she will give the referral for FFS the minute I ask. I have to wait until 12 months on HRT first for insurance reasons,

Oddly enough, it's the one surgery I'm looking forward to the most

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FFS changed my whole universe. I'm so excited for you!!

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That's so interesting because I also cried when they showed me the side profile and Dr Capitan had to yell "Emma, Emma! It's okay we can do this" lol

I don't know what it is about that side profile it just really sinks in when you see it

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I mean, I think that's when and where we *really* start to hope, you know?

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2 loves here:

1. I loved the details involved that you explained, there's too many surface level details and hardly enough deep dives.

2. I love your wedding photos! Both of you looked stunning in your dresses!

💜

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Thank you!

And B-- was actually in a corset and satin pants, with an over skirt for flare.

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I never would've known had you not told me. Looks great regardless!

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It also had an inner lining on the overskirt that was outer space looking!

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I never thought about renewing vows before, but now I'm getting ideas lol!

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A lot of couples with a transfem do it! The chance to be The Girl in The Dress is really incredible.

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My wife had her turn already, so now it's mine!

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