I have had multiple "Oh, s#!t, my coworker just told me they're trans" with the caveat of, "And I'm trans too!". I loved your big sib article for setting boundaries with people you are mentoring, but I don't know if it was written with workplaces in mind. For context, I am a part of our queer employee resource group and am openly trans there and have been approached by trans people there looking for advice and community. Do you have any advice for navigating a trans person coming out to an out trans person at work?
I actually do! Next week's article might be helpful to you, but one issue with writing about that in specific is that workplaces differ *so much*, and laws around them differ *so much* from state to state, nation to nation. One of the most important things for coming out at work is understanding your local workplace culture, which I can't really help with, you know?
In most places, HR should be ready for this sort of thing at any workplace of any size at all... but *should be* is the problem part, you know?
I am working with IT, HR, managers, employees, and others to make sure there are procedures created for transitioning(name change, gender change, other updates, hopefully changing gendered pronouns in procedures to they/them). In addition to answering basic questiongs for cis people looking in. The bones of it were made from the HRC's toolkit but there was a heavy emphasis on trans binary folk in there. We are trying to make it more inclusive
So, for internal stuff: going through *really systematically* to find every database in the company that stores name information and making sure that the employee's preferred name is set as a display name (except for legal documents) is Thing Number 1. Revising pronoun sets, as you describe, to they/them neutrals, is Thing 2. Get employee-facing, plain language documents that spell out the company's policy as Thing 3, and get them up on the intranet. We're talking insurance, PTO for transition stuff, trans employees' rights, all that jazz. Finally and most importantly, put together a guide you can hand to the transitioning employee where they can fill it out with all the info you/their supervisor might need, plus a to-do checklist for anyone else and anywhere else they might need to reach out.
The University of Michigan has a FANTASTIC public-facing transition guide that's quite inclusive of nonbinary genders. It also directly links to their other transition support stuff. I'd recommend it unconditionally as a model: https://hr.umich.edu/sites/default/files/gender-transition-resource.pdf
One other thing that may come up is workplace accommodations, particularly during surgical recovery. It's rare that someone can take two weeks or even six weeks of medical leave and then come back good as new. They may have restrictions about moving or sitting or lifting heavy things.
I'm not an expert in employment or disability law, but the general rule is that an employer is required to make reasonable accommodations for the employee. That might mean a standing desk, or more frequent breaks, or modified duties to avoid harmful physical activity.
The good news here is that you almost certainly already have policies for this sort of thing, because disability, whether temporary or permanent, can happen to anyone who works at your company. It's obviously okay to ask the employee if any workplace accommodations will be required and what they look like, *without* asking for details about their surgery.
Very much this! I didn't get into it because these sorts of things are (or should be!) covered by any work place's existing medical leave and recovery policies, but they're definitely crucial!
Thank you so much for this! Initially I was going to skip this as it seemed like it was aimed at other people and how to deal with trans people they with work, but as an early transitioning woman who will, one day, come out at work this was super helpful. I plan on saving the link so I can use this when I do eventually have 'the talk ' with my work!
This is all great advice! Unfortunately for me, I'm a small business owner with my wife, and there are no support resources for me in how to come out as trans, to employees, clients and the public. When I came out to my employees 2 years ago that I was trans, I saw a lot of 'deer in the headlights' looks. I got a general expression of support from everyone, a few people were specifically positive, but a few were quiet.
Over the next 18 months, all 9 of our employees left our company. Of those 9, I know my transition played a direct role in at least 3 of their departures. 3 others I know were very supportive, but left for their own reasons. The last three, while supportive, I think my transition was probably viewed as a negative in their calculation as to stay or not.
Transition is hard, but trying to interview new employees while transitioning? Ug, that is horrible.
We're through the worst of it now. We have 5 employees now, and I'm pretty sure at least 3 of them are not aware that I'm trans, and that's just fine. People outside the office sometimes mess up my pronouns, but fortunately, its easily brushed off as misunderstanding (I didn't change my name, I got lucky with a name that works for both male and female!).
Ughh, I'm sorry that was so tough! I wish I had any experience at all with running your own business, so I could've had something for people in your position, but I just don't.
I have had multiple "Oh, s#!t, my coworker just told me they're trans" with the caveat of, "And I'm trans too!". I loved your big sib article for setting boundaries with people you are mentoring, but I don't know if it was written with workplaces in mind. For context, I am a part of our queer employee resource group and am openly trans there and have been approached by trans people there looking for advice and community. Do you have any advice for navigating a trans person coming out to an out trans person at work?
I actually do! Next week's article might be helpful to you, but one issue with writing about that in specific is that workplaces differ *so much*, and laws around them differ *so much* from state to state, nation to nation. One of the most important things for coming out at work is understanding your local workplace culture, which I can't really help with, you know?
In most places, HR should be ready for this sort of thing at any workplace of any size at all... but *should be* is the problem part, you know?
I'm literally writing the transition guide for people at work for our HR department
Oh, that's fantastic! Are you looking at the HR-facing procedure writing part or the employee-facing part?
All of it? XD
I am working with IT, HR, managers, employees, and others to make sure there are procedures created for transitioning(name change, gender change, other updates, hopefully changing gendered pronouns in procedures to they/them). In addition to answering basic questiongs for cis people looking in. The bones of it were made from the HRC's toolkit but there was a heavy emphasis on trans binary folk in there. We are trying to make it more inclusive
Okay!
So, for internal stuff: going through *really systematically* to find every database in the company that stores name information and making sure that the employee's preferred name is set as a display name (except for legal documents) is Thing Number 1. Revising pronoun sets, as you describe, to they/them neutrals, is Thing 2. Get employee-facing, plain language documents that spell out the company's policy as Thing 3, and get them up on the intranet. We're talking insurance, PTO for transition stuff, trans employees' rights, all that jazz. Finally and most importantly, put together a guide you can hand to the transitioning employee where they can fill it out with all the info you/their supervisor might need, plus a to-do checklist for anyone else and anywhere else they might need to reach out.
The University of Michigan has a FANTASTIC public-facing transition guide that's quite inclusive of nonbinary genders. It also directly links to their other transition support stuff. I'd recommend it unconditionally as a model: https://hr.umich.edu/sites/default/files/gender-transition-resource.pdf
One other thing that may come up is workplace accommodations, particularly during surgical recovery. It's rare that someone can take two weeks or even six weeks of medical leave and then come back good as new. They may have restrictions about moving or sitting or lifting heavy things.
I'm not an expert in employment or disability law, but the general rule is that an employer is required to make reasonable accommodations for the employee. That might mean a standing desk, or more frequent breaks, or modified duties to avoid harmful physical activity.
The good news here is that you almost certainly already have policies for this sort of thing, because disability, whether temporary or permanent, can happen to anyone who works at your company. It's obviously okay to ask the employee if any workplace accommodations will be required and what they look like, *without* asking for details about their surgery.
Very much this! I didn't get into it because these sorts of things are (or should be!) covered by any work place's existing medical leave and recovery policies, but they're definitely crucial!
Thank you so much for this! Initially I was going to skip this as it seemed like it was aimed at other people and how to deal with trans people they with work, but as an early transitioning woman who will, one day, come out at work this was super helpful. I plan on saving the link so I can use this when I do eventually have 'the talk ' with my work!
Yay!
This is all great advice! Unfortunately for me, I'm a small business owner with my wife, and there are no support resources for me in how to come out as trans, to employees, clients and the public. When I came out to my employees 2 years ago that I was trans, I saw a lot of 'deer in the headlights' looks. I got a general expression of support from everyone, a few people were specifically positive, but a few were quiet.
Over the next 18 months, all 9 of our employees left our company. Of those 9, I know my transition played a direct role in at least 3 of their departures. 3 others I know were very supportive, but left for their own reasons. The last three, while supportive, I think my transition was probably viewed as a negative in their calculation as to stay or not.
Transition is hard, but trying to interview new employees while transitioning? Ug, that is horrible.
We're through the worst of it now. We have 5 employees now, and I'm pretty sure at least 3 of them are not aware that I'm trans, and that's just fine. People outside the office sometimes mess up my pronouns, but fortunately, its easily brushed off as misunderstanding (I didn't change my name, I got lucky with a name that works for both male and female!).
Ughh, I'm sorry that was so tough! I wish I had any experience at all with running your own business, so I could've had something for people in your position, but I just don't.